The Cry of Relief

The scene is often too familiar. A woman and man frantically go to the local drug store in fear that the woman is pregnant. They knew that they were taking chances but thought it could never happen to them. They buy a pregnancy test and hurry to go home so they can see if she is truly pregnant. Maybe she has missed her period and there is concern. At this point both are already in a state of anxiety. Each of their brain’s limbic systems may be saying, “fight, flight or freeze”. One may want to just run and the other may just want to fight or blame the situation on the other. At this point their relationship has reached a crisis stage. They both are seeking a form of relief in finding that the pregnancy test says that she is not pregnant. But what if they find out she is pregnant and the test is positive? What if there is no relief? What will they do then? Will they keep the child; choose adoption or abortion as an option? As I am writing, it is not difficult to feel your heart beginning to beat faster. I think we all can understand the stress of that moment. It is like watching a scary movie in which the music in the background seems to play louder and more intense. Let’s imagine for a moment the woman is pregnant. What now?

Remember, most likely both are now in a state of fight, flight or freeze. They were hoping for some form of relief by finding out that she was not pregnant by taking the test. Since she is pregnant and the positive sign of the pregnancy test is now etched in their brains for the rest of their life, what will they do? What factors will affect their choice? In this blog, I want to just address the factor of the limbic system and the brain. How might the limbic system contribute to the choice when both may be in a state of trauma from finding out that she is pregnant?

Just as before finding out she is pregnant, now a cry for relief from the limbic system is even louder. The need to make a decision to end the current crisis begins to take it’s toll. The prefrontal cortex begins to decrease activity allowing the limbic system’s influence to become much stronger. As a result, there is little logical long term thinking but more immediate reaction to the cry for relief from the limbic system. The brain begins to scream the message of NOW vs cause and effect or long term thinking. As many that have found themselves in this situation, they begin to listen the limbic’s greater influence. This is a very similar process that a person who struggles with an addiction goes through. The pleasure part of the brain seeks something to feel good from the emotional pain they might be feeling. As they begin to seek the “feel good” their prefrontal cortex decreases activity driving them to often irrational addictive behavior. Later they wonder how they could have done what they ended up doing. This is often the same question those who make the decision for abortion ask themselves.
​
When working with clients who present with abortion related trauma in your office. It is important to remember to communicate to your client your understanding of the complexity of what let up to the decision they made. This complexity includes the understanding of how the brain operates when faced with an unplanned pregnancy crisis. Helping a client understand this process can contribute to their ability to forgive themselves more easily.
​
Understanding the “cry for relief” from a brain perspective can ultimately lead to relief in our client’s mind of how they could have made such a decision in the midst and shock of an unplanned pregnancy.